I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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