It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
