haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
