So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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