I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
