After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
