What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
