I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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