so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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