I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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