Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
