Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
