well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
