i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
