I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
