you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
