wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
