the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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