well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
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Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
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Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Enjoy the penises
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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