Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
