it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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