you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
