If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
