That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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