Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
