She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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