I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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