The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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