I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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