Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
