One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
