erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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