I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
