did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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