we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
