dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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