Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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