So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
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Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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