Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she smelled like a LAN party
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
