I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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