Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm getting married
To pizza
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
