This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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