i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize