Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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