i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
