remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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