If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
