He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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