note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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