he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
