NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
