so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
