Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
