Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
