your thong is hanging out like whoa
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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