I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
