i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
