I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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