Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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