I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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