i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I party with great urgency now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize