So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
