Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
